singing those old songs, reminding myself of how much I used to know you.
It's almost 2am and I haven't done my homework yet. surprise. Of the last 40 hours, I have been asleep for 3 of them. Why do I do this to myself? I'm sick and not getting a whole lot better but I just can't let myself be selfish and just freaking sleep.
I'm basically obsessed with Violet Hill and Cape Canaveral right now. I have a terrible cough that keeps me awake at night and keeps me leaving class every ten minutes to spare my classmates the horror of listening to me wheeze and cough up gunk. I hate having to convince the health center that I need something other than complacent prescriptions.
Today I met with the principal of the elementary school where I tutor and we started to schedule dates for my service project. I'm so thrilled that he took my suggestions whole heartedly. I was so nervous when I first pitched him the idea that I could hardly look at him. But he really liked it and we wrote down dates and he put me on his email list and wants me to present my plan at the next community development meeting. It's all a whirlwind of excitement!!! And here I am thinking I'll have to beg and plead to get any kind of permission and the principal is so willing to work with me and make my project happen.
I guess I never really said much about my project here. Mostly because it had been mostly a big old idea until today. In short, I want to organize a multicultural fair where students from my college and people in the community can have a booth where they represent their culture in a fun and entertaining way so that the students get exposure to all kinds of people living just miles away from each other and the variety of cultures that make up Memphis. :)
It's really weird how true it is though: everything comes in cycles. A few weeks ago, I felt like my service project was total bullshit and I was going to be the only one in my practicum who didn't accomplish anything this semester. But now I feel like I'm waning with poetry and philosophy and waxing in southern lit and somewhere in the middle of a new and full moon with chinese. And then there are all these friends I have and it seems like I didn't get to see any of them today because of this wonderful sorority I'm in. Sometimes it feels like I'm just staving off school work for favor of stuff I'd like to really be doing.
I keep telling myself that that's just how this sort of life works. Do what you can when you can and then let yourself love it. I wonder what my life would be like if all I wanted to do was go home like some people here.
I thought of another little tattoo I'd like to get someday. It would be really neat if I could get a
happy buddha with his arms raised on my forearm. Probably about two inches long and just a simple line drawing near my wrist. When my grandmother died, I got this statue from her apartment and he's a little over a foot tall and solid wood and his thumbs are broken, so he's not an ideal travel companion. I had a mini replica of him last year in my dorm and for some silly reason threw it away at the end of the year. I ended up by a fluke finding another replica of it for my dorm this year and I'd sort of love to have it with me every day. Just the carefree nature of it, arms raised like a long stretch, belly protruding shamelessly. We'll see we'll see.
for now, chinese homework and an attempt to salvage my poetry series project. cross your fingers&wish me luck. you know i'll do the same for you
if you love me, why'd you let me go?</i?
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